Mitt’s Pumpkin Patch

We can expect big bad October Surprises to erupt across the media in the next two weeks. But what’s it going to be: war in the Middle East, a bimbo eruption, more on Bain Capital? Something worse? The Democrats are cornered and desperate. They’re upside down in the polls and losing ground rapidly. We can expect eye-popping bombshells any day now. Let’s take a stroll through Romney’s pumpkin patch and see what jack-o-lanterns the Democrats are carving up for us.

Hobgoblins and Evil Republicans—H.L. Menken said, “The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” To the mainstream media and Democrats, the Republicans are hobgoblins. This silly season’s hobgoblin themes are: the war against women; the war against the middle class; eliminating Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid; and causing the earth to burn up. Pretty droll stuff that won’t get much mileage.

Mainstream Media Kerfuffle—Look for the media to suddenly discover an insignificant factoid and breathlessly blow it all out of proportion. Like George Bush’s grades or the fact that he might have tooted cocaine once. Or like Romney making fun of a gay guy in high school. The talking heads may find that Romney smoked a cigarette once, or that he smiled at a woman not his wife. Perhaps he put this woman in a binder. Maybe one of his tax returns has a typo in it. If the media can’t find something scandalous, they’ll simply create it. Look for a fake-but-accurate, Dan Rather-type forgery. And look for Candy Crowley’s fingerprints all over it.

Class Warfare Flap—Let’s face it. Socialists can’t resist class warfare. It’s basically all they’ve got. That and race baiting. But blacks are in the bag for Obama so no campaign money will be going their way. The Obots’ mentors, Marx, Engels, Lenin and Mao require class warfare — like holding the middle class tax cuts hostage in order to wring a few more bucks from small businesses and the nation’s top earners. Republicans want to keep the Bush tax cuts in place for everybody. If there’s no agreement before January 1, 2013 then it’s Tax Armageddon for everybody. America goes over the Fiscal Cliff. Obama is blackmailing the Republicans and engaging in a risky game of chicken. The Dims think class warfare has legs. Look for it.

Bialek-and-Allred Sharon Bialek and Gloria Allred

Friars Club Press Conference, New York, November 2011 

Bimbo Eruption— For some reason political sex scandals work only against Republicans. This is the old double standard at work. A Democrat can be caught with the dead body of a little girl (or boy) in their bed, and the media will protest that a person’s sex life is a private matter with no place in politics. They are still incensed that Bill (“I never had sex with that woman.”) Clinton got impeached for lying to a grand jury about his sexual relationship with Monica Lewinski.

The rumor is that the Dims have a bimbo bomb ready to go. Who to deliver it? Gloria Allred, is a discrimination attorney in California specializing in feminist issues. Guess which political party she belongs to. Obama has endorsed her and said, “She’s one of the best attorneys in our country.” She’s certainly one of the best political attack lawyers for Democrats.

Allred generated political headlines aimed at derailing Meg Whitman’s run for governor of California. Allred claimed that Whitman once employed an illegal alien. Hiring an illegal alien is a crime in California only if you’re a Republican. Governor Moonbeam won by a tiny margin.

Allred torpedoed Herman Cain’s presidential ambitions with a bimbo eruption. Allred stood in front of the cameras with blonde floozy Sharon Bialek, as the victim tearfully accused Cain of acting in a “sexually inappropriate” manner after a dinner date in 1997. There was no sex. She didn’t file any sexual harassment charges at the time and said that she wasn’t filing any then. She just wanted to get the message out. Cain was in the lead before Allred delivered her charges to the breathlessly orgiastic media. After more media bimbo eruptions, Cain dropped out of the race.

Is Obama ready to unleash his rotweiller? Radaronline puts it this way,

Is famed women’s right attorney Gloria Allred about to pull an “October surprise” on Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney? 
That’s the thinking, after Drudge Report founder and respected politico, Matt Drudge, tweeted Thursday: “Here she comes. Hearing Gloria Allred out there again, about to make a move. After all, it’s her time of the campaign. Team O at the ready!!”

Barack’s Minefield 

But Obama could be in for a few surprises of his own. October surprises can go both ways and it might not be the Romney camp that launches them. There are millions of Americans determined to rid America of the Marxist-in-Chief and his red diaper baby, socialist government. Let’s tiptoe through Barack’s minefield and take a peek at the surprises brewing for him.

Illegal Campaign Contributions—Obama is raising incredible amounts of money — $181 million dollars in September alone. About 98% of this money is untraceable and much of it comes from foreign sources, including governments hostile to the United States. Obama is violating federal campaign laws. Does he care? Do the Republicans? This could be a major blowup in the new media. As serious as it is, the mainstream media will ignore and cover up the matter. 

Rapido e Furioso!—Don’t look to the Republicans, especially the hapless Darrel Issa, to make any charges stick. He’s wasted three years being made a fool of by Eric Holder. The Mexican media and government could blow a hole in Obama’s Hispanic support, but only if they were willing to put the Dream Act at risk.


Dreams from My Real Father DVD

Who’s Your Daddy?Joel Gilbert is mailing millions of his Dreams From My Real Father DVDs to battleground states and to others. If the communist agitator and pornographer, Frank Marshall Davis, was really Obama’s biological father and ideological mentor, as Gilbert says, then Obama’s entire story is a massive fraud. Liberal media resistance and progressive pushback against Gilbert has been hostile and fierce. His response to me about that?

As long as the major media refuses to cover my film, I am going to continue this publicity campaign by shipping DVDs state-by-state, million-by-million, or until Barack Obama comes clean. Instead of misrepresenting himself as the son of a goat herder, as he did in 2008, Obama should say, ‘My father was a Communist Party propagandist and suspected Soviet agent who indoctrinated me into Marxist ideology. Please vote for me so I can destroy the American middle class and create a one-party political system.’

Gilbert’s DVD is the #1 selling Amazon instant video documentary and the #2 DVD Amazon documentary. It is being watched by thousands on Netflix. But Gilbert has gone one huge step further to get his message out. So far he’s mailed out 1.5 Million free DVDs to voters in Florida; 700,000 to Colorado; 500,000 to Iowa; 1.2 million to Ohio; and 100,000 each to New Hampshire and Nevada.  He’s got 3 million more free DVDs in the pipeline for Pennsylvania, Virginia, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. Joel Gilbert is a one-man October surprise. Trick or Treat, Barry. 

Lost in Zombieland: The Rise of President ZeroThe book goes viral and Americans find out who Barack Omeba really is and what he’s really up to. This happens just in time to keep the jihadi nukes from detonating, stop the Tea Party/Zombie War from spreading across the USA, and prevents Omeba from finally throwing the Constitution out the West Wing window.

Breitbart—Before he died, Andrew Breitbart said that he would do the job the mainstream media failed to do for Americans. He said, “This election we’re going to vet him…to show you why racial division and class warfare are central to the hope and change that was sold in 2008.” We’ve seen his video of Obama praising and embracing the racist, radical, Harvard professor Derrick Bell, which the media hid from us. But I think Breitbart has more to show us. Just in time for the election.

Birther Nuke—Lawsuits to get Obama disqualified from state ballots are under way. What would really make it a surprise? It’s Orly Taitz that gets it done.

Trump Tweet Torpedo—Donald Trump just tweeted, “I’ll be making a major announcement on President Obama next week–stay tuned!” Well, that’s interesting. Trump never did release the findings of his birth certificate investigation. Who knows what The Donald has come up with? The Donald Bomb might be all it takes to push the ball into the end zone.

Benghazi Blowback—CIA, FBI and NSA release internal memos and reports to the White House that prove Obama lied to the mainstream media, the American people and Candy Crowley. If you don’t think these fed-up intelligence agencies can’t do this just ask yourself where Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are getting their files. Sean will be on this like a duck on a June bug.

Celebrity Defections—Celebrities publicly expressing voter remorse will hurt Obama. Lee Iacocca, a lifelong Democrat, has already endorsed Romney, but he’s not a liberal. A Democrat not a liberal? Gene Simmons, a recovering liberal, wants his vote back and says Obama has “no fu__ing idea” what he’s doing. Ouch. More to come.

Wag the Dog—To hold onto the presidency, Obama just might wag the dog and start a war. Likely battlefields? Iran for one. Israel might attack on her own, or a Lost in Zombieland scenario might force Obama to deploy forces to fight the Iranians behind the scenes. Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, Libya and Egypt are primed to blow up, thanks in large part to Obama and Hillary’s horrendous mess of a foreign policy. Would Obama sacrifice the lives of our young men and women just so he can retain the White House? You bet he would.


May 21, 2012 Cover of Newsweek Magazine 

Bath House Barry Sex Scandal—The mainstream media are frantically covering up major leaks from Chicago about Barack Obama’s homosexuality. It turns out that his views on homosexuality didn’t exactly “evolve over time”. WorldNetDaily’s intrepid Jerome Corsi has revealed that the Reverend Wright had a “program” at Obama’s Trinity Church to help homosexual blacks live double lives on the “Down Low” by getting them married to women that nobody else wanted. Sound familiar? This provided them cover to go about their public lives while privately indulging their sexual preference — on the “down low”. A recent WND article said the following,

Chicago’s homosexual community claims Barack Obama’s participation in the “gay” bar and bathhouse scene was so well known that many who were aware of his lifestyle were shocked when he ran for president and finally won the White House.

Investigative journalist Wayne Madsen, who worked with the National Security Agency from 1984 to 1988 as a Navy intelligence analyst, confirmed DuJan’s claims.

“It is common knowledge in the Chicago gay community that Obama actively visited the gay bars and bathhouses in Chicago while he was an Illinois state senator,” Madsen told WND.

In addition, rumors have swirled around Obama’s relationship with his personal aide and former “body man,” Reggie Love, who resurfaced on the eve of the Republican National Convention to support his old boss. Love resigned from the White House in November 2011 after compromising photographs of him as a college student received wide circulation.

How’s that for an October Surprise? Better put some ice on that, Barry.

But the real October Surprise may be when the Democrats suddenly realize that Americans have had a belly full of Barack Hussein Obama — and the Democratic Party — and want nothing further to do with either of them.

Imagine their surprise.

JT Hatter is the author of Lost in Zombieland: The Rise of President Zero, a political satire on the Obama administration. JT can be reached at jt@jthatter.com.

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